My Last Words to You
by DoomedSometimes
Summary: Alex talks to Norma. But can she hear him? - (This can be taken as an alternate ending to S4 or S5. It works either way.) Normero forever.


**A/N: This is just a little something I wrote for myself but decided to share. I hope you like it. Even though S5 had been making me feel very sad, I don't mean for this to be the last fic I write, the title just happens to be that. If my muse keeps visiting after the show is over I'll keep on writing.**

 _With love to Norma Louise Bates._

* * *

Norma,

It was not my intention to look into your eyes and get lost in the quiet storm I saw brewing there since the very first time we met, but I did. Your eyes were the bluest blue I've ever seen and I couldn't help getting lost in the depth of them.

I know you tried to seduce me once but I didn't want you like that. I wanted to fight for you, to win you over, to be worthy of you. Your body was not the only thing I wanted. I wanted your trust, I wanted all of you.

I never thought I'd feel the need to protect you so overwhelmingly that it would be physically painful not to be able to. Your story was filled with sadness and abuse. It pained me to learn your truth.

I thought that I was immune to your beauty, to your charm, to your maddening way of being. Your mind was like the waves from the ocean; sometimes placid and others wild and fierce.

I never set out to have my days start off thinking of your smile and ending them with the wish that I made something to ensure your well-being. Your happiness became my goal. Your safety was my only and greatest concern. Your troubles became mine too.

I could not foresee that I would want to wrap my arms around you and hold you while you sleep. Your kiss on my cheek felt like soft cold rain on a parched hot street.

I desired nothing more than to wipe your tears, and make sure all the others you cried were of happiness instead of pain and fear. Your face could make a man drop to his knees.

It was impossible not to love you. It was a lost battle against my will. Your power was strong. You were always a force of nature. You pulled me into you.

I did not set out to love you as fiercely as I did. Your love I started to crave, to have your affection and your attention focused solely on me.

I didn't plan to lie for you, but I did.

I didn't plan to kill for you, but I did.

I didn't plan to suffer for you, but I did.

I fell hard for you, but in falling, I gained too. I won the prize of being touched by your hands, hearing your laughter, the taste of your lips. Your mouth was meant for smiling and laughing, for singing, for kissing and being kissed; for calling my name in the throes of ecstasy, or in the satisfied intimacy aftermath of it all.

It was never my plan to end up where we did. I merely wanted to ease your worries, to assure your peace of mind, to give you good things. Your gratitude was overwhelming. Your happiness was my incessant dream.

It became my whole existence to fight for you, not because you couldn't fight yourself, but because sometimes even the strongest warriors need help. Your temper, your fervor to not accept things, to change, to deny, and to scream, they were all part of your indomitable spirit and will.

I loved you. So much. I loved you with my mind, with my body and with every fiber of my broken soul. Your own soul forever will be your most beautiful thing.

If I had wanted to resist you, in the beginning, I would've tried. If I had thought that loving you wouldn't be the greatest gift life gave me, I would've told my heart not to beat for you. Your heart was made to love, to give, to forgive.

I gave you everything and took all you willingly gave too: your love, your passion, your joy. Your fight was not over but you will never have to fight alone again. I promised you this.

In marrying you, your problems became legally and morally a part of me. Your family, your fragile and broken relationships with the sons you birthed; they became my family too.

I won a battle. I almost lost my whole and only reason to live. Your beautiful and graceful hands were cold.

I saw your unmoving lifeless body and I wanted to die with you. Your chest was not rising with life and I wished my life to leave me too.

I see you now seemingly asleep and want to slash every demon, every human, and every intangible thing that dared to torture you. Your pain is mine. Just so you stop hurting I'll gladly take it all.

I am raging. In here you look peaceful, your eyes closed, your serenity held within. Your last place of rest can't be this.

I tried to destroy, burn and kill just to have you again with me. Your cruel destiny was laughing at me.

I cannot live without you, can't you see? You are the fire and the water, the earth and the air for me.

I have become a shadow of whatever man I used to be. Before I say goodbye know this: I will follow you everywhere, even to the death sleep. Your closed eyes hurt me like acid burning my skin.

I unplug your body, the slowing of the beeps.

I put my head on your chest, and feel it slowly breathe.

I seat upright again and raise my gun to my head, and I'm sorry to have to do this.

I take one last look at your lovely face and lower my gun in defeat.

I want to die but I can't leave you alone like this.

I cry in agony and when I'm certain I'll never find peace, I hear my brain surely playing tricks.

"Alex?" Your voice calls to me.

I look up to your delicate face. Your eyes are open again. Blue like the sky and alive like the sea.

I take you in my arms, forgetting the cables connecting you to the machine.

"Norma." I whisper in elated disbelief.

I feel your arms weakly but lovingly encircling my back. You finally have come back to me.


End file.
